my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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