All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
