She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
