I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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