WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
