Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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