dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
