I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
