I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
