Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize