Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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