I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
