I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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