my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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