just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i will never coherently bang her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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