Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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