Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
