did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
