Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Verdict: uncircumcised.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
