I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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