I must be too annoying 4 u.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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