roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
