Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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