would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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