I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my sisters under your porch take her home
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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