I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
