Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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