I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
smell my finger.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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