I have demons in me.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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