i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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