): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
