Betty ford says i'm here all night
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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