That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
