As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
