And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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