Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
