Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Randomize
