just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
