Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
