I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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