I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
