I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
