So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
