just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
