My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
