u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
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I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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