so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
