Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
