Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
