you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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