at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
