Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
