just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im holly from the hills drunk
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the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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