We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
