And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
