Need sex. Gaining weight.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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