I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
