so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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