I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
