If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
