She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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