Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
