I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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